Rebirth | A Guest Story on TheMindClan
Type: Resource:

Rebirth

A guest resource written by Muskan Singh
Trigger Warning:
Mentions of self-harm and depression.

You know, there was this girl once.

I used to like her a lot, not in a romantic way, but I did have a deep love for her, and I like to think that she liked me too. We had all these great childhood memories together, memories of us dancing in the rain in the backyard, of our fair visits and doing all the scary rides and eating cotton candy later on, of reading books or playing in our den under the blanket, and of building our tree house and chasing away every intruder.

But as we got into middle school, it all changed. We had a huge fight, and she told me things that still hurt me to this day, and I probably said things that hurt her a lot. I won’t go into detail, but it wasn’t pretty. Not at all. It was the worst fight I’ve ever been in.

After that, our relationship was tainted. We strongly disliked, if not hated each other, but we still saw each other because we were both addicted to dragging each other down.

One day, she wanted to make up, she was tired of this bullshit and she just wanted both of us to be happy again, but I was blinded by my anger and wasn’t having any of it. Dead serious, I told her she was good for nothing, that nobody liked her and nobody would ever like her. I regret it today, but at the time, I didn’t know any better. Of course, she fired back twice as hard, she hit me with every insult she knew and then said I shouldn’t even be alive.

I didn’t know what to do anymore. So then I drugged her. I mean, I didn’t do it without her knowledge, but I talked her into doing drugs. I told her over and over again that she should try it and that she would enjoy it. And at one point, she actually gave in and did it. I got her to keep going until she got addicted. And then, when she was at her lowest, when she was going through withdrawal, I manipulated her into stealing from her friends and family.

I gained control over her whole life, and I loved this sick sense of control. But I wasn’t willing to stop there.

And I didn’t stop there. After around two years of this abusive bullshit, I went a step further. You know, it got boring after a while. So one day, I went and beat her up and then, when she was too weak to defend herself, I took out a blade and cut up her arms and legs. I did this on a regular basis for another two years. She has scars all over her body to this day. She hid everything I did to her from everyone and smiled. She was too scared of what would happen if anyone found out. And, to be honest, I also blamed her for everything I did to her.

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