- The below content contains a trigger warning. If you're not feeling comfortable with proceeding, it's okay! Just click here for other Stories on the platform.
- If you'd like to speak to someone urgently, click here for a list of helplines you can reach out to.
- If you're looking for a list of curated private counsellors from Mumbai, click here.
- If you'd like continue reading the content on this page, click the button below.
Mentions of battling an anxiety disorder.
I wake up each day, thinking this time it would be different
That this time, for once, I wouldn’t have my mid-week meltdown
That I wouldn’t call in sick when really, it’s my mind that’s ailing
That it isn’t the flu, it’s my anxiety
That this is not a disease, but a disorder
Which orders me into this cycle of hiding, fighting and failing
Falling flat on my face and dignity
On the pillow, muffling my sobs
Each time I stay in, give in and sleep it off
But then, there are small victories
Strewn apart, like wildflowers on dank crevices
Maybe this time it wouldn’t be so different
Maybe I would still have my midweek-meltdown
Maybe this time it would be different, but just a little
And that’s okay, for now
Recovery is not a race, lapses are not relapse
Your life wouldn’t start afresh
But it wouldn’t end this way either