The genesis of ASHA Meet-ups could be traced back to an uncanny friendship that was developed between two friends, Annie & Sahil. Coming in contact through other people while holidaying on a desolate beach near Kolkatta, Annie spoke to Sahil first of her experiences of being a survivor of child sexual abuse. They immediately developed a connection but it took Sahil 6 months of their friendship to finally tell Annie that he is a survivor as well.

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What happened then was a waterhed moment for their friendship, where they started speaking the invisible language of two fellow survivors, together discerning the patterns and coping mechanisms, and progressing on their individual journeys as survivors. Over the time, they became curious if such a space, that they found in each other, existed for other survivors as well. This curiousity started their pursuit of a mental health space, which was sadly, nowhere to be found. There were clinical, therapy practices, but nothing that would allow survivors to come together and offer peer support. We know, we searched!

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Failing to find such a space, we decided to create it ourselves. The decision was followed by immense preparation, upskilling, research, and seeking support from other active mental health meet-ups. Finally, after 5 years of deciding to create such a space, we were ready to host the ASHA meet-ups. We held our first meet-up on 1 July 2018 and ever since, it has been a rewarding journey of learning & learning, seeking & receiving, and most especially, connecting with some of the most beautiful souls that we ever came across in life.

The facilitator’s role starts with planning the meet-up. This includes coming up with a theme that would connect with the audience and promoting the meet-up on social media channels, e-mails etc. During the meet-up, the facilitator moderates the discussion, in line with the guidelines and the monthly theme. It is their responsibility to create a welcoming and inclusive environment for everyone and ensure that people from different backgroungs, sexualities & genders, feel safe and respected to talk about their experiences as a survivor of child sexual abuse. Through the questions, it is the facilitator’s responsibility to keep the conversation running towards self-reflective and insightful shares without rushing the participants through the process. Following the meet-up, the facilitator(s) also encourages the participants to reach out, should they feel like talking about their feelings around the meet-up or after. Notes: The above information may change from time to time, and is shared with you to understand the background of where the support group comes from.

Our support group is for the adult survivors of child sexual abuse and allies. We require the participants to be at least 18 years or above. We welcome people from different backgrounds, sexualities & genders.

At ASHA Meet-ups, we believe that surviving child sexual abuse need not be an isolated and clinical experience. In fact, in our journeys as survivors, finding a safe community of people that one can trust and openly talk about their mental health challnges is crucial. Especially for survivors of CSA, because child sexual assault takes away from us our ability to trust others and we forever struggle with the same. Additionally, we refrain from advice-giving, because we all may have the awarenss or ways of accessing it. ASHA Meet-ups is a space for survivors to come, rest, reflect, and archive their own journeys as survivors. Every survivor story then becomes a metaphor for others to reflect upon, draw inspiration from, or just listen to not and feel so lonely in our own struggles and healing.

We have resources of mental health professionals that we refer our participants to, should they need an intervention or help.

There is space at ASHA Meet-ups for people to talk about thoughts of suicide or self-harm, among others. However, since we are not trained professionals, we don’t have the capacity to offer any immediate help. In case of an escalation, we would reach out to our contacts of therapists and mental health practitioners.

We commence the meet-up by knowing the correct gender pronouns of the participants & a feelings check-in. We then introduce the theme and the guidelines, followed by the leading questions regarding the theme. Towards the end, we discuss self-care mechanisms and end the session with a feelings check-out.

Welcome adults: 18 or Above
The meetups are for adult survivors of child sexual abuse (and their allies). Anyone involved in the meetup, including participants, facilitators, counsellors, therapists, and help seekers, confirms to be 18 years of age or above. Anyone younger wishing to attend the meetup or be part of ASHA, can send us a private message prior to attending.

Be kind ❀
Conversations at the meetup can get emotionally tumultuous. Participants are requested to be kind and compassionate towards each other. Even lending a patient, non-judgmental ear to someone can also be therapeutic.

We’re in this together
Many participants at the meetups are survivors, and some are allies too. But their lives have been affected by CSA in some form or the other. To create a safe and inclusive space, everybody in the meetups has to help us create that sense of support and responsibility. And instead of interrogating, advising or providing unsolicited diagnosis, participants are requested to share their own feelings and experiences.

Accepting all shades of the rainbow
The core of the meetup is inclusivity. Organisers and participants, including counselling/therapy professionals, are requested to be tolerant of all gender, sexuality, caste, class, religion, and region identities. Any form of discriminatory (transphobic, homophobic, biphobic, casteist, classist, etc) or hateful behaviour will not be acceptable in this space.
We also understand that a lot of our communication is in English, and sometimes Hindi, but we are trying our best to find associates to help us with a multilingual outreach.
We cannot bar anyone from participating in our events, but if anyone feels uncomfortable in the meetup space about anything or anyone, we urge them to please come and talk to us.

Confidentiality
People attending the meetup have the option of participating anonymously or discreetly. By its extension, photography, videography, audio recording, or taking notes is not allowed during the meet-ups, apart from the core team members and assigned volunteers.
Team ASHA might click pictures, for documentation or promotional material in the future, but only after having explicit consent from the participants present there. At any point, should you ever want your picture to be removed or deleted or never to be used for any promotional or documentation material, to communicate the same to us? We’re kinda cool that ways.

Consent
We, as team ASHA, try not to overstep a participant’s definition of consent. We would refrain from giving advice on seeking help or defining a survivor’s experiences. We are, however, open to exploring options and discussing possibilities, in a manner that respects a person’s autonomy.

Getting in touch with participants
If someone wants to take anyone’s name/contact details or get in touch in or outside the meetup space, the best way is to directly ask the person. Do not pass around contact numbers, email ids, etc. without someone’s permission. We urge people to exercise caution while greeting a participant in public, or revealing their personal details/experiences to anyone, for not everyone is ‘out’ about their experiences. We request participants to exercise their own agency as an adult while interacting with each other, in and outside the meetup space.

Assuming responsibility of the bonds we make
It is natural for us to bond with people in the meetup, especially when we share such intimate and personal thoughts and emotions. The ASHA team members are not going to monitor or police these bonds between adult participants of the meetup. The team can be approached for any escalation, but an individual must assume their own responsibility while mingling with other participants.