For me, relational safety is at the centre of all the work we try to do in therapy. I hope to build a relationship where, over time, both the client and I feel comfortable reflecting on our connection in real time. I often invite clients to share what they are feeling toward me in a given moment and how they are experiencing our relationship. I also try to model this transparency by gently sharing what I am sensing or feeling in the space between us, and checking in with how they feel about that kind of sharing.

What feels important to me is that the client knows this is a space where their emotions in response to a relationship will not lead to disconnection, but will be met with openness and curiosity. It is this kind of safety that allows deeper exploration.

To make the process collaborative, I share my stance as a therapist at different points in the journey. I take up the role of a containing presence in a non-directive way, and unless we agree otherwise, the client is encouraged to set the pace and goals for what they wish to explore.

One of my greatest learnings from clients is that we do not always need a cure, we often just need a witness. This is also one of my favourite lines from a book on group therapy. I have come to see again and again how deeply resilient humans are in the face of pain and challenge, and how we are wired for survival in ways that deserve profound respect and compassion.

In my work, I hear stories of survival, of protection, of bodies and nervous systems trying to find safety. I witness acts of hope, of breaking down and still choosing to show up, of naming difficult truths and slowly beginning to trust a space. I have learned how powerful our natural pull toward repair is, even after deep rupture.

Most of all, I have learned that clients do not need someone who is perfect or who always knows what to say. What they need is someone who can sit with them and whose presence makes it a little easier to keep going.

One quality I really value in myself as a counsellor is how deeply my therapeutic stance is informed by the systems and schools of thought I resonate with. I find the most alignment with parts work, especially through the lens of Internal Family Systems (IFS). This framework has helped me cultivate a genuine curiosity not just toward the parts my clients hold, but also toward the parts of myself that may be active in the therapy room.

It has made me more reflective as a therapist. Often, during the therapy hour and post the session, i find myself tracking my own sensations and feelings, and revisiting those reflections to inform my understanding of the client. This ongoing reflective practice, along with the honesty I try to bring into the room, are qualities I deeply value in the way I show up for this work.

Something I strive to do is make my intersectional stance visible from the outset, both in my intake form and during the first interaction with a client. I also make it a point to name my positionality as a cisgender, heterosexual woman. I acknowledge that this positionality informs my worldview and is shaped by the privileges I hold. At the same time, I emphasize that it is my responsibility as a practitioner to continuously learn from and be informed by my clients’ lived experiences and perspectives.

I explicitly invite clients to name any blind spots they may notice in our work together, and I view this as part of creating a space rooted in mutual respect and accountability. I also try to practice immediacy, acknowledging in the moment if I am unfamiliar with something, and taking responsibility to educate myself further.

To stay accountable to queer-affirmative practice, I regularly engage with the writings and lived experiences of queer and trans communities, and I value spaces like supervision and educational circles in ensuring my work continues to remain queer affirmative.