I initially chose to become a counsellor because I identify as a pretty empathetic person. I’ve naturally enjoyed listening to and understanding people and that is what nudged me into the field.
I would primarily like to communicate to my clients that I am invested in witnessing and understanding their inner world in the first session. I would like for them to take back a sense of feeling heard, and experience the therapy space as one of care and empathy. This involves making space for not only what they are ready to share with me but also for what they are not ready to share with me. I believe safety and trust are built and communicate to my clients that they don’t HAVE to share anything with me, just what they want to and are ready for, and that I will strive to have respect for both their vulnerability and boundaries.
I would encourage people who are considering therapy to think about what it takes for them to be vulnerable. This process might include reading up, asking questions that are important to them to the counsellor, communicating needs and preferences, boundaries, and perhaps even taking small risks of vulnerability and testing how they feel with the counsellor in the therapy space. Therapy is a vulnerable space and you have the right to test if the space can hold your vulnerability before signing up. I have also had many clients tell me before the first session that they are unsure about what to speak about and expect because it is a new experience. It is completely understandable to feel unsure about a new thing that we are trying out because not knowing is a part of experimenting. What I’ve usually seen is that what we want and might be helpful becomes clearer once the process begins. So along with thinking about what might work for you, allow yourself to go with the flow a little bit and keep checking in with yourself.
I value the therapeutic relationship as the most powerful aspect of therapy. There is a lot of potential for individual healing in that relationship. I try to build a relationship that is warm, caring and holds space for different shades of the client’s humanness (none of us are black and white). I welcome all kinds of communication about how the client is experiencing the process, and regularly ask questions. I also try to be very respectful of boundaries.
My greatest learnings so far have been that the human experience is an extremely grey and messy one, that people cannot be contained inside boxes and labels, and that people can and will surprise you with new layers of their personalities and lives (regardless of how much you think you know them). I have learned to keep curiosity close to my heart.
I think I am someone who does not shy away from self analysis and reflection even if it sometimes comes with discomfort. This has led to quite a bit of self awareness and openness to feedback, which I think are extremely important to hold an understanding space for client experiences. I am also quite an intuitively empathetic person who reflects about the greyness of existence a lot. This helps me hold space for different shades of clients.
I enjoy reading and watching different kinds of content. I love exploring new places and having new experiences, so whenever I get a chance, I travel. I am also someone who finds a lot of meaning in relationships (with people and other beings), therefore I spend quite a bit of time nurturing connection with my friends, family and animals. I enjoy dancing as well.
My approach is mostly eclectic and differs based on client needs and preferences. However the schools of thought that stand out in my work are the narrative, existential, psychodynamic and person centered schools. What this means is that I value clients and their lived experiences as the expert of their process while I am a tool that they can use for therapeutic change. I believe that the past impacts the present and help identify and analyze patterns, without boxing clients into categories and labels. My work also weaves philosophies of existence, and the impact of larger social systems on individual lives to understand client narratives and experiences.
I am trained in queer affirmative counselling practice and try to inform and equip myself with resources to support clients who identify as queer and trans. I make my anti-oppression stance clear in and out of therapy (through the therapy intake form, language that I use, and mental health activism that I engage in), and acknowledge the harm that is done by the dominant system that is largely heteronormative. I also listen in an affirmative manner and keep myself open to feedback.
I want strength that is strong enough to hold weariness and awe. Strength that is durable enough to withstand the power of being vulnerable in a harsh world. Strength that makes room for support, for not knowing, for needing, for sitting in discomfort without jumping ship. Strength that doesn't ask us to get over it but also allows us to move forward with it. Strength that knows when to allow for wobbling, for help, for space to stop keeping it all together 100% of the time.
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