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Why did you choose to become a counsellor?
Honestly, I have always been drawn to people and their narratives and stories and witnessing and empathising with each narrative, irrespective of them having reasons or not -this is something which has come quite naturally to me since I was a child. I couldn’t think of opting for any other profession apart from psychotherapy, because this is something that comes quite naturally, genuinely, passionately and easily to me - supporting folx and helping one navigate through their mental health journey. Being a part of people’s journeys, witnessing one in their raw and truest human form, observing one’s relationship build and transform with themself and with each other, and so much more that the therapeutic work and therapeutic relationship brings in - these are some of the things that keeps me going.
So, you see, this choice of becoming a therapist was simple!
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What excites you about your work as a counsellor?
The therapeutic relationship, the therapeutic process, to begin with. What an honor it is to witness clients open up (at one’s own pace) and present their genuine, raw human form and open to transforming into a better human for oneself, others and for the world ; when clients become comfortable to accept and own mistakes and imperfections and see that as something which is natural and necessary ; the excitement and joy that clients come with to discuss observations (once they have become more aware of themselves and relationships around them) ; one of the things that warms my heart the most is when clients feel fully open and ready to witness and accept grief and whatever other scary and difficult emotions arise (after taking their time towards arriving at this) and more than excitement, it overwhelms and melts my heart when clients learn and choose to be kind and compassionate to themselves and not let shame take over.
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What do you hope for your clients to experience after their first session with you?
The first session would be an opportunity for me and the client to get to know each other to some extent and to speak about their narrative, definitely, and also about expectations from therapy. This would also give them an idea about what sessions with me would be like.
Take back after the first session, well, I will be speaking about my practice, approach and style of working, how I show up in sessions and outside, and give a realistic idea about what expectations can be set in this work with me. This will allow them to make a choice of whether this is going to benefit them or they would like to look for other resources.
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What would you wish to tell a client who is thinking about seeking counselling?
It is a huge and brave step to consider to start counselling / therapy. I appreciate that you are allowing yourself to take this step.
It’s absolutely okay for you to take your time to look for therapists that you resonate with and find a match. This process can sometimes require trial and error, patience, I wish you gentleness through that process. It might be helpful to keep a set of questions ready to understand a therapist’s approach, if you have any specific requirements, and even if not, that is alright, we can figure that out together. Once you take a step towards therapy, you will know what can and cannot , will and will not work for you.
Therapy is not about finding solutions to your problems, in your work with me, I will not be giving you direct advice as I believe that you are the best judge of your life. It is a collaborative work and I will help you, guide you through the challenges that you are facing, however at no time will I be making decisions on your behalf.
You have the right to ask me about me, my practice and I will be truthfully responding to everything that I am comfortable sharing about myself. I will be open to conversations, whenever required, very open to it.
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Describe the relationship that you would wish to build with your client in counselling.
My approach towards therapy is relational. Therapy space is like a miniature world of the outside world, how you are in your interpersonal relationships in general, is going to show up in our therapeutic relationship (with time and trust) and I see that as a very important element of therapeutic work.
I wish to build a secure, honest, genuine, open space for a client and that as a result hopefully feels safe for them. Therapy work is hard at times and might not feel safe, I strive for both of us to create enough trust and security with time, so that we can welcome these difficult emotions or narratives with compassion.
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In your counselling work so far, what has been your greatest learning from your clients?
I feel humbled and honored to be a part of my clients’ journeys. Each interaction with a client brings up so much relationally and personally for me. Trust, patience, consistency, determination, willingness, showing up no matter what, are some things that are coming to my mind atm, however it is not fair to only highlight these few things, there is just so much!
I sometimes learn the way they show up in their friendships or relationships, or how they might be getting some work done, or a cooler and alternative way of doing some tasks, their ability to love and care, some of their words, statements or languages, their ability to stand up for what’s right and for themselves, there is just so much to learn from the multiple interactions that happen, very hard to pick some.
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What are some of your strengths as a counsellor that you value and appreciate?
Perhaps my curiosity, intent to listen and learn, genuineness, compassion and kindness.
My lived experiences of being a neuro-divergent / neuro-queer / queer person ; victim of shame and emotional abuse ; grief ; coming from a dysfunctional family, helps me relate, resonate and connect with individuals on a deeper level, which helps with the therapeutic work.
I seek regular therapy and supervision for myself and regularly attend lectures, workshops on trauma informed therapy, which is the lens I work with, in therapy.
I work and strive to be a better human each day, and hoping that as a result of that I can show up as an efficient therapist.
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What are some of the things you like to do in your free time?
I am a trained dancer/performer, sportsperson and absolutely enjoy working out and participating in other physical activities.
I am a huge fan of the Marvel Cinematic Universe and Pixar movies and enjoy watching fantasy and thriller movies and also a good, cheesy rom-com and spend time binge watching shows and series. I love spending time with my loved ones and being around them, sitting in silence, eating, playing, talking non stop together, napping.
I have recently been liking walking and cleaning as well. I do not want to fully accept it, but I have been spending a lot of time cooking these days and enjoying it? (I was never this person, lol)
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What are the areas of concern you address in counselling? Do you work with specific populations?
I am a trauma informed, queer affirmative, neurodivergence inclusive therapist.
I work with clients living with grief, trauma, neurodiversity, abuse / violence, crisis narratives, interpersonal / relational difficulties, family or marital concerns, anxiety, depression, psychological distress and other mental health concerns.
I predominantly work with young adults, adults and adolescents.
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What is the therapeutic approach you use? How would you describe it to someone who wants to consult you for therapy?
I follow a relational approach in therapy, through a feminist, humanistic and intersectional lens and my inclinations are towards Gestalt therapy, Body work, Mindfulness and Self-compassion based practices.
Explanation in brief (can discuss more on call or during session) -
When you come to therapy, you might have something heavy, major that must have happened and there’s a lot to speak about and discuss, however the first few weeks to months, before going deeper into the concerns, we will be working on providing you tools to manage distress when outside of sessions. A lot might come up in 1 hour and even outside of therapy, and I believe it is essential for you to resource yourself and navigate through the distress and learn regulation, second important step, while we are slowly working on certain things, is to build a support system for you. I never would like the therapy space to be the only support system, this could be communities, family, friends, pets, we can figure it out, once you feel comfortable and resourced enough to deal with dysregulation outside of therapy and have a support system, we start going deeper into the concerns and work on them.
Our work will be done in the here and now. Past and history is definitely important, however we will not be dwelling over the past, the work would be based on how the past is affecting this present version of you and we will be working on that.
Therapy will be at your pace, there’s no necessity or compulsion for you to tell me everything before the work begins. The moment you sit in front of me, we have already begun the process and work.
This process is going to demand a lot of your energy, bandwidth, patience, commitment and finances, and you are allowed to take a break from it whenever you feel like it.
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How do you make your therapeutic practice a safe and affirmative space for queer and trans* folx?
By believing your narrative, to begin with. Followed by being inclusive, open and curious about your narrative. Being queer myself and my experiences have been resonant with folx. I start by asking for name, gender and pronouns of every person who I work with, irrespective of their gender and sexual identity.
You are allowed and open to talk to me about your experiences and be assured that I will not be discounting or dismissing any of them, they are YOUR experiences and your truth and no-one can take that aware from you. I am going to be asking questions for my clarifications and understanding whenever necessary and you are allowed to not answer if you aren’t comfortable with them.
Like I would, with any client, I am very open to feedback and understanding more about your experience with curiosity, compassion, kindness and tenderness.
The Quote Apeksha Resonates With
We might not be able to understand some experiences of others and that is alright, the least we can do is respect it.